Published in The Pun, Issue 1, 2006

You’ll need to do some preparation before you go see Damien Callinan has Spaznuts. First of all, don’t ejaculate for three days before the show – as Callinan points out, it can spoil the sample. Second, do some research and come prepared with a few euphemisms for testicles to shout out in the audience participation moments. All my group could come up with was ‘fly eyes’. Don’t let your team down.

Yep, Callinan’s show is all about testicles – or, more specifically, male infertility. Callinan takes us through his experiences as a sufferer of a condition his wife calls ‘Spaznuts’. The show is autobiographical and self-revealing – and not just because he keeps taking his pants off.

The audience is invited to look in on Mister, a male infertility clinic, where Callinan plays a motley bunch of characters to who listen to his story. A series of flashbacks, anecdotes and stories takes us through a ‘very intrusive’ operation at the age of seven, his sexual fetishes (Callinan can’t provide a sample at the clinic without a cheese grater, a plunger and a framed picture of Caroline Chisholm) and his wife’s reaction to the news that he is ‘shooting blanks’.

You might recognise Callinan from such shows as SkitHOUSE and Before the Game. If you’re like me and thought SkitHOUSE was a bit shithouse, don’t let this prejudice you against Spaznuts. Callinan is very talented and the show is funny, touching and – ahem – medically informative.